My Thoughts

The past few days have probably been the best, the worst, and the most unique this month. I felt a lot of happiness and a lot of sadness as well.

Exactly one week ago was the evening before Valentines. I was so excited! And I knew exactly who to ask. =P I asked Nicole, a good friend, if that person had any valentine and if it’s alright to ask her. She that is was probably alright. In excitement, I called her up. After a few seconds of calling, she says, "I’ll think about it." At that time, my brother Chuck was rushing me to help him buy some ingredients. I wanted to make chocolate truffles as well. We took the car to Rustan’s to buy some chocolate chips and other ingredients. Nicole then called up to say that she liked chocolates. =) As we drove home, the car acted funnily and the engine started to die down. Chuck started the engine again, but the engine died down again. We were out of gas! We both agreed that I go to the gas station and get some fuel. After arriving, the attendant said there was no fuel! I called up dad, and he said that he will call the maid to send a container from home. One hour later, I started to grow impatient. I called up dad but was only returned by annoyance of impatience, "She’s coming!" I just went home myself with a jeepney. As soon as I arrived, she was there at the gate. My dad forgot to tell the guard to let her through! We took some gas, and brought it to the car. A problem was that the container was to wide to fit the gas opening. Fortunately, a passerby generously offered a makeshift funnel (by cutting a plastic bottle halfway). We managed to get home after some time. Unfortunately, it was really late and I still have to finish my English research. Mom finally arrived at around 10 o’ clock. Although she told me to buy flowers and chocolates after she arrived, she decided to do it tomorrow. "There’s no time though", "I’ll just buy them for you in the morning." I just asked her to write a letter to excuse me from school at lunch, then I slept.

The morning was the same routine. Dandan was really happy though. She gave home-baked pastries and Magic cards to Nicole accompanied with a poem. I really admired him for that. He gave it with his heart! Magic cards is one of his passions, and he gave his favourite poem as well. He had the intention to say it, but the guard (soon my favourite guard=P) denied him entry to the school. =( I left for Southcrest on lunchtime to give the flowers and chocolate this lunchtime. In surprise, the flowers and chocolates weren’t there! In a rush, I had to find a place to buy flowers, and chocolates. I managed to find some, but the problem is that they weren’t really personalised and not as good if I probably bought them yesterday. =( Of course I was happy to give flowers and chocolates to my valentine. =) My favourite card didn’t let me in though, so I had to let her give them to my valentine. After returning to school the teacher was late! And that means I’m not late. =D When I started having some lunch, the teacher just arrived! =P After school, I got picked up at 6:30. This happens everyday. I was so frustrated at my parents. It started with unpleasant exchanges of words, then I walked to my room crying (yes, I can cry). At that time, I felt as if my parents really don’t care about my school. I study every night, but I told them how difficult it is when you arrive at seven and really exhausted. They haven’t even read my report card! I was very upset. Then I started to remember studying at my sister’s school. I worked really hard, and finished first year months earlier. I did not receive any allowance; and if I did, it was only enough to take a jeepney home. My sister’s studying there now, and she doesn’t study that much, gets allowance, and leaves school anytime. Probably you can see how upset I was. I talked to Chuck, and he talked to mom and dad. He came back and said that they saw my side of the picture and they’ll talk to me when I calm down. I ate a lot of chocolate and some tea. My valentine sent a text message to thank me for the flowers and chocolate. I felt a lot happier. I don’t know why, but when you give to others, you really do feel happy! =) I calmed down till I slept.

The next day, I started to feel better. On the afternoon, I heard something from a classmate that really upset me. I don’t know why, but this really brought me down. I felt like my life was falling to pieces. I felt betrayed. All the memories of people betraying me began to be relived in my mind: The person that upset me was rejected by his group a year ago, and his group told me not to be close to him. Another person really upset me a lot as well that I cried about what he did days before that. He was a person people told me not to be friends with to be in the "cool" group. The worst memory was when a friend of mine used me to make more friends with other people for a year, then destroyed my confidence and self esteem. I started to think about building walls around myself. But then I read that the walls that protect you can isolate you as well. All my values and principles seemed useless. I didn’t know what this feeling was it sadness? Confusion? A five-letter word described it perfectly: angst. This dreaded word completely described how I felt that time. And I was enshrouded by it. I turned to Dandan for advice. I’ve told him everything about how I felt and what happened. Talking and being listened to by Dandan made me feel better until this feeling gradually went away! The Seven Habits tells me to listen genuinely to people. After doing my best to listen to other people, I realised that I forgot to listen to someone important — myself. It felt as a huge weight was on my shoulders, and having dandan listening really helped. There are only a few people in this world who listen to you and are honest. I’m glad Dandan is one of them. As I write this down, I feel as if every letter that I type removes a piece of the world on my shoulders. Classes ended. I knew that my parents would pick me up late so I decided to hitch with my classmate. As soon as I arrived home, I opened my folder and studied. I was still frustrated at my mom. She told me to park the car. As soon as I went back to my table, she called me up. She showed me a copy of my report card, she did her best to show talk about my grades. I had to rush outside the to contain my tears. I went downstairs to study, but I couldn’t think. It was as if I have tasted all the happiness the world could offer. I took a shower in the bathroom for more than 30 minutes thinking about what happened and to let all my tears run dry before leaving.

On Saturday, I was fully recovered and happy. =) After playing badminton with Facundo, we went to Jan’s house to play some PS2 and play with the new potato cannon I built! Before that Jan treated us to Rai Rai Ken for lunch. I and I love Japanese food! =D The cannon didn’t work though regardless of the dozen fuels we used. =P I went home early to change and to get ready for Ridge’s birthday. I drove to City Sports (free parking!) then went to Don Henrico’s to see a table filled with table and the celebrant. We had some pizza, then I excused myself to leave. We went down to Red Ribbon, and bought a birthday cake. We walked back to Don Henrico’s  and sang the "happy birthday" song! I had to leave early unfortunately to to go to OJ’s birthday as well.It was fun!! We played PS2, some poker (no money involved), and had some beer. We left the party, and I drove facundo and Neil down the mountain. After dropping Neil off at 460, we left for Paseo to drink. It was pretty fun! I met some new people from Sacred Heart as well. Sensing that it was getting late, I urged Chuck and Facu to leave. Chuck left half an hour later, facu left much much later. His foster mom was mad at him. =P

The Southcrest Family Day was the next day. After buying groceries for my mom, dropping off Nicole (another Nicole) to her house, and then going back to Fooda again (forgot an ingredient), I left for Southcrest. They Day is incredibly fun! The first person I saw was my valentine. =) My classmates were there as well! A friend from my Japan trip was also there. I introduced him to the group, and he also had a lot of fun! We played this game where we passed around a calamansi fruit with a spoon on our mouths. I was in the blue team. At around three Dandan bought some quesadillas for me (which I truly appreciate =)  ). At the end of the Family Day was the final judgment on which team will win. The red team won by ONE POINT!! =O After that we decided to play inn the "jump and bounce" slide. It was really fun!! It might seem kiddy at first, but it definitely isn’t. =) I went home and had mass before sleep.

The next day, I bought brownies for my sister’s birthday the next day and a Reader’s Digest magazine (along with an RD planner!). =D And the day after that, we had some dinner at Lemon Grass before sleep. =)

So that’s my week!